When you have a child with special needs, some budget items can’t be cut.  Glasses, gluten-free cereal, hearing aid batteries, occupational therapy, and/or socks without seams are not cheap. They also are not optional. Many, many expenses fall under the category of “food” or “clothing” that other parents also have on their list, but it is hard to explain why you can only buy one brand of spaghetti sauce, no matter what a coupon says, or why you have to get your shampoo at Whole Foods instead of Target when you make less per hour than the person cutting the meats at the deli counter. While tee-ball costs less than pizza delivery, thanks to great parents who volunteer, we can’t roll that way.  We need sports or activities that are consistent and taught by educators or professionals who won’t say, “Suck it up, Buttercup,” or the like. I wish I had a nickel for how many parents ask if I know sign language when I tell them I work with the visually impaired. It only makes sense if you are the one keeping a child home with a rash when you choose the wrong product, drying tears when someone places sarcasm in the wrong place, or cleaning up the vomit off the couch when someone made helicopters in the outfield for 30 minutes. (Side note: indoor/outdoor fabric is also more expensive than slipcovers, but I digress…).

If you still want to share Disney with your children, focus on what is included at every level, and when you plan, look for constant costs vs. variable expenses.  One is the cost of entry, the other kind of cost is more within your control.

To save money, focus cocktail, dinner and lunch plans on counter service options, and just schedule a few sit down meals.

Here is what will be the same price:

• Your accommodations are a constant expense, plus or minus about 15% if you are staying into a weekend or holiday.  This means that if you stay Monday-Friday, you will pay less than if you were staying Thursday-Sunday (and it feels like a week, instead of a long weekend).
• While you can get the dining plan to budget what you are paying for meals, you might be better off planning about 3 special meals and pre-paying for those (you’ll have to pay in advance for special meals like Hoop De Do Review) and the bonus is that the gratuity is included in these events.  If it is a repeat trip, maybe you don’t need to do $100 worth of character meals a day.
• Park tickets are an expense you can plan on.  While purchasing them in advance is a convenience, the only real perk to buying them early, wallet-wise, is that you won’t have to worry about a price increase (which often happens over the summer). A basic-level trip tip is that you may not need a park ticket for your arrival and departure days. Choose one or the other. In fact, going to the park on your last day could lead to an “I don’t want to leave” meltdown, of which I am personally guilty. The last day is great for swimming at your hotel or using the gift card you haven’t spent yet at Downtown Disney. Strip off extra perks like water parks and more or parkhopper options to save hundreds of dollars. It isn’t that families don’t use these perks, but it is possible to have a great time without them. If you really want to use a water park or Disney Quest while you are there, you can always pay the admission fee, which might be less than the difference between the the basic ticket and the add-on.
• Have groceries sent you to your room. While cooking on vacation is one of my mother-in-law’s “never-dos” if you pay a flat fee for bottled water, pretzels, doughnuts and microwave popcorn, you may find you are not dropping spontaneous $10 bills on snacks every time you step onto Main Street. If you drive, visit the Walmart just off-property, or contact www.gardengrocer.com to have groceries delivered. Remember that there are additional fees for delivery of groceries, but it is probably worth it.
• It you are staying on property, fast passes, the Magical Express to and from the airport, and Extra Magic Hours are a constant price-$0.  Remember that even a tent-sized site at Fort Wilderness Campground is considered on-property, for around $50/night.
• Photopass CD.  While photopass is a free service, if you pre-order a CD of your own photos, you can often get a discount.  This means you can print photos at home after cropping them online, for around $100.  You can also ask photopass photographers to take shots with your camera, for free.

Prices that vary:

• What you spend on souvenirs is up to you.  This can range from $5 to thousands of dollars.  People who make return trips have said that a nice part is you know you are coming back so there is less “pressure” to remember the trip. You can also control the cost by bringing souvenirs from your last trip, like ears or lanyards.
• Meals cost money. Alcohol, tips, and extra courses (desserts at table meals, for example) can add up.  A trick to work around this is if a kid’s meal offers 2 sides, make one side a cookie or scoop of ice cream.  I never advocate swapping soda for water to save money, because I love soda, but you can skip the cocktails, or transfer your margarita money to a budget later in the day, like pool time.  The more you plan on counter meals, or snacks at meals (coffee and muffin combos with a piece of fruit) the less you have to worry about adding 15-20% to your bill.
• Special experiences, like the Pirate’s League, Bibbity Bobbity Boutique, and even face painting add up. Consider trading down.  Go to the barbershop for a funky hairstyle for under $20 instead or a pricey makeover that could run $60 or more.  It is also fine to say, “We loved that last trip, but this time, let’s go find Tinkerbell, instead.” Distraction is your best friend. Your child is saying, “This is amazing. I wonder how will you entertain me next,” not “Drop a C note on me.”
• If you are staying at a less expensive hotel, like POP, you may feel less pressure to rent a boat or ride a horse-drawn carriage.  It is nice to have these choices at moderate or deluxe hotels, but if you can’t see it (or need to take a bus to it) you won’t be as tempted to spend $30-$150 to do it when there are pools, playgrounds, arcades and Mickey bars.

To save money, remember that you are at a resort where the whole experience is amazing.  Cast members at all levels of accommodation are out to make sure you have a great stay. Pin trading is free. DVC kiosks give away stickers, and your child may be as enthralled by the bendy straws as they are by the “make your own light saber stand.” This may be the year to teach your children to enjoy what they have, especially the fact that they have a family who has made so many sacrifices to get them to Walt Disney World in the first place.

A few ways we keep the kids in line at Disney:

• Have a time out or “thinking time” place. Use it early, just to establish that there are consequences on vacation, too, and you don’t need the steps at home or the wall timer to be in charge.  Don’t be afraid to start at the airport.
• Stagger independence until you know your kid can be trusted. When I worked as a travel camp counselor we’d tell kids they could go off in pairs for an hour. If  they met us in an hour, they could have 90-120 minutes.  If they made that check in time, they got more time. If they were late, we waited, and became their very, very nerdy partners for the rest of the day.
• Even if it is hard, stress honesty.  One child who shares my last name accidentally took a hat. It really was an accident. I am also kinda shocked we got as far as we did without Mickey’s security coming our way. We went to guest relations and explained how it was unintentional, and we were very sorry. The cast member asked me if he could keep it, but I said it would probably just remind him of the awkward situation. She wrote him a voucher for a store credit for being so honest and returning the hat, instead of putting him the jail cell at Pirates. Seriously, don’t steal at Disney, but also, don’t hesitate to treat the Cast Members like aunties and uncles who want your kids to grow up into noble people, with annual passes.
• If you are traveling with another adult, be consistent and narrate why you are choosing to parent the way you are. I overheard a grandma tell a kid if he didn’t sit still, alligators would eat him. Not how I would have gone with it, but if that’s how they roll, I hope they roll together.  In our house, we don’t keep secrets, but we do believe in surprises. Why? Bad guys go for the good secret keeping children. If a bad guy said, “Can you keep a secret and would you like some candy from my windowless van?” I want my kid to say, “No. I tell my parents everything,” and cough from the exhaust of the van. My kids see us talk things out, but when I am with someone else’s kid, a simple, “What do you think your dad would say,” usually cues me in to what I should say to be consistent.  One of my best friends will always buy music, but hates little toys you step on and figurines. I would never get those kids a vinylmation, but I’d buy them a CD in a heartbeat. The better you know one another, the easier it is to sync up.  When my friends say, “I don’t want to hear any whining,” or “Don’t tattle just to tattle,” I pick up on their cues, and use the same language if they come to “Aunt Shannon” with a report of what their sister, or my kid, did.
• Give yourself a time out. It is safe to say adults have meltdowns as often as kids, because the frustration of paying $1000 or $10,000 and still having cranky kids is maddening. If what you need is a break, tell the others it is your turn, and they have to pretend they enjoy whatever you want, or tolerate it, and then have your Tiki Tiki Room time, or in my case, listen to the old music that plays on Main Street just after rope drop. Honestly, I’ve left my family in the room and zipped over to the parks alone at 8 a.m., because I am a better parent when I get to enjoy the corny stuff with or without them. My husband does this by running. Find your thing, and include time to get it done.
• While there should be no crying at Disney, if a kid has a range of emotions in a typical week, why would they not have those on vacation?  Be prepared for some mood swinging, especially is there is jet lag and lots of stimulation.   Be prepared, and be patient.  Don’t try to buy your way out of it. Treat it like a sun shower that will pass in 15 minutes or so.  I love the way our family “is” at Disney (busy, silly, imaginative, joyful), but we are still us (quick to tire, creatures of habit, night people, prone to motion sickness and asthmatic). The same will happen to you.

I wrote a little story about a parenting moment when we went to a Disney movie.  He didn’t appreciate it, and was sassy. Not just sassy, but dry & insulting in his comments, at 4.  We had to address it. It was a “words that hurt” lesson, and in the end, we made it into something positive.

Please read it and vote for #7, 137 days of good behavior: http://www.themeanmom.com/2012/02/vote-for-your-favorite-mean-mom-story/

How do you adapt your discipline style on vacation, or just before, to make sure everyone has a peaceful time?

1. The ride/show/attraction Stitch’s Great Escape.  This ride often has a short wait time, and is popular for being air-conditioned. (insert crickets here). An alien is on the loose and that alien is Stitch. It is dark, a little stinky, and had a 4D movie effect where you feel like Stitch is in your ear. Belching.  BOYS LOVE IT.  It is dark, though, in a non-scary way.  Bring something that glows if your child is afraid.  If you are the luckier of 2 parents, run to get fastpasses to Space Mountain while your family explores this one.  It lets out into a gift shop.
2. While it is very feasible that you will walk more miles than a half marathon on a Disney day, your boys may still need to burn off some energy and climb something.  Check out Tom Sawyer Island.  A boat is taken over to the island, and rope bridges are crossed.  On foot.  My son likes pretending to shoot at the people riding Big Thunder Mountain.  We don’t have toy guns in our house.  This only makes firing a fake cannon more appealing.  Fun fact-if you have a newborn, those in the know like this spot to take a time out and grab some bench in the shade.  If you find a paintbrush, tell a Cast Member ASAP for a special surprise.
3. Calling people Dude all day. Crush instructs the humans to do this. My son was overjoyed when Crush picked him from the crowd to speak with at Turtle Talk with Crush.  Crush then asked me if my kid asks a lot of questions. We had a moment.  I love the mix of imagination at play and curiosity about how it is done that comes over the faces of the kids. And the parents.  At Epcot, this attraction is at the end of the Finding Nemo ride.
4. The vaudeville style humor at The Hoop De Doo Musical Revue, a dinner show at Fort Wilderness, produced so many belly laughs, well, we didn’t make it to dessert. The thing about old jokes is that that young kids never heard them before, and the are usually pretty innocent.  Get category 1 seats if you want to be more involved in the show (the performers work the room) but the combo of jokes about who is hen-pecked and big guys in dressed as fairy ballerina princesses is 2nd grade gold.  Two other things I love about this show-they serve BBQ style food on unbreakable plates but will produces a peanut butter sandwich upon request, and they have all you can drink sangria.  (I didn’t list those in order)
5. A rat in the kitchen is funny, if that rat is Remy. Les Chefs de France has an experience (call ahead and ask) where a surprise guest comes to visit each table.  His colleague, a very pretentious server, will offer the verbal responses, and our friend from Ratatouille will respond to the guest’s questions. They can’t touch him, though, because he has to cook later.  It is another “how do they do that/that is hysterical,” encounter.
6. The Whispering Canyon Cafe also has a few servers with attitude. Without spoiling the good stuff, the kids will have a chance to get our of their seats to be a part of  the silliness. To me, this means I can finish my margarita. Hint-if your kid likes ketchup, they are in for a good time.

What I love about these trips is that children who have a dry sense of humor, or who are learning about irony, gentle teasing, and social skills, see how humor can be used to raise your spirits, not lower your self-esteem. It is a vacation from the bullies on the baseball field or the world of snarky text messages and tweets from the mean girls on the blacktop. Your kid will also learn a few jokes that won’t get him sent to the principal’s office, so you have a vacation from those phone calls when you get home. How magical is that?

There is a lot we (and probably you) don’t do because it is too hard to do when you have kids. Those who take care of an elderly or ailing loved one, feel free to chime in, as well. 

For example:

• experiment with new recipes (with flavor)
• take a wine tasting class (someplace without a train table in the back)
• read for pleasure (your pleasure, not a chapter a night of Harry Potter, aloud)
• shop without the din of handheld video games in the background and bribes for staying quiet/being patient
• run out real quick to get an item that is not critical to tomorrow’s events
• see a new movie, play, or concert just because. (Caretakers rarely say, “What the heck. Might as well.”)
• bike without someone attached to your bike who is pretending to help it move forward
• skydive

There are more, but that isn’t the point. What I love about Disney is that I really enjoy a lot of the cool things they offer without compromising.  I secretly hope Kim Possible missions will land us near my favorite adult beverage kiosks. Usually, they are.  As a Muppet fan, I rally the troops to put on 3D glasses at Hollywood Studios, as opposed to handing over charge card and texting underneath my jacket during the latest offering by a trio of Chipmunks until it is over, like a tax with community service. I really like pin trading, and wonder if the cast members think I am a Toddler in Tiara’s mom when the kids look to me for cues as they choose the pins off the lanyards for exchange. (Whatever you want. Just not another Stitch and remember which letters of the alphabet we have at home, sweetie-B, C, D, G, H, I, P, S, T, U, W, X, & Z).

I asked for ideas on what cools things to try on a birthday trip from some facebook fans (Check out “You Might Be A Disney Addict If….”), since my kids can tolerate more changes to the schedule now, and are all about the birthday person rules, rule.  As a backup they are old enough to attend Kids Clubs and are now OK with babysitters at Disney (and so are we).

Here are a few ideas that have been sent my way.  Which are your favorites?

1. Dinner at Victoria and Alberts.  Nobody under 10 is allowed. You had me at 10.
2. Characters in Flight. A balloon ride over the Downtown Disney Area.
3. The Keys to The Kingdom Tour. A backstage (or under the stage) pass to the inner workings of the Magic Kingdom. I may pass on this one, due to time. It is a half-day event but it does include lunch. I think this is a 16 and over experience.
4. Parasailing. This is a 10-minute experience that you can access from the Contemporary Resort.  Highly likely.
5. Surfing lessons at Typhoon Lagoon.  The ads have younger guests, in bikinis (con) but the lessons happen before the water park opens (nobody to look silly in front of). 
6. Call/Answer the red phones at Epcot (the UK).  
7. A makeover, princess style. I have read about some ALL EARS writers trying this out, as adults. I am more likely to have a simpler version at the Harmony Barber Shop, and not the same day as Victoria & Alberts. 
8. Carriage ride around Fort Wilderness or Port Orleans Riverside.  I’d be more likely to do this paired up with a dinner, or campfire. 
9. Epcot’s lesson to use a Segway, and tour the World Showcase. My friend did this, and scared herself.  Hmm….
10. Have a drink in each country at Epcot.  Very popular, but I am not turning 21.  Maybe if I spread it out over 11 days, but then I’d have to extend my trip. Not out of the question…

I don’t like to call these ideas “bucket list” items because I don’t like to discuss the end of life away from the Haunted Mansion.  Also, my nickname is Bucket, so it just means “list.” On the same token, I don’t love when people call memorial services “a celebration of life.”  I’d like to call mine, “Have yourself a good cry, because this is an appropriate place to do so, and you won’t find yourself weeping at random some day in 2 years or yelling a waitress who doesn’t bring you a food I always liked-day” We can work on it. I’m still well.  Just looking for a week to really live the life I’ve been given, happily and rev up for a new decade. 

Karlie is a little girl who is 3, and is receiving medical care for serious condition. Her family has a lot of faith. Others are supplying trust & pixie dust. Her mom and dad sent a prayer request out on facebook while she was having surgery to the 400 or so folks who were following her story. When she came out of surgery, over 1500 folks added her page to theirs, and rooted her on. She is now being prayed for (or wished upon a star for) by 13,241 friends. You can be one by liking her page: https://www.facebook.com/prayingforkarlie Sometimes grandparents update folks, sometimes it is mom, and Karlie has a sister who is working through the stress of having the family cope with so much news. Feel free to pray for her, too.
A request went out via a Mommy blogger I love: Kristin at http://www.couponingtodisney.com/ for a response from Tinkerbell, because mom & dad promised Karlie a trip when she gets well. The Disney community responded, and someone who uses the screen-name “villianslair” submitted this video. I suspect they are a cast member, but having seen the line just to meet Tinkerbell Christmas week, I think he/she must be an angel.
If you visit the facebook page, you’ll see where you can donate to this family, but all they really request is that you keep Karlie (and her friends who are also fighting some serious medical battles) in your prayers. I’m blown away by the faithful family she has, and when people ask why I love Disney, this sums it up.
Maybe you have been the mom with the child who is connected to a machine, or had a tube in the tummy. I have. Maybe you’ve had to look a doctor in the eye and say, “I hand this over to you for the next 5 hours. I’ll wait in this chair until you come back and tell me it is OK.” I have. Maybe you’ve created a blog or social media page to update everyone, because you can’t repeat the stats of the day one more time. I have. Maybe you have been in the chapel or the cafeteria, hoping for the best, and reminding yourself that some people beat the odds. We all have.  If so, please leave a message for this family.
I hope, when things got better, you made it Disney to celebrate. I pray that happens for Karlie’s family, as well, and I really hope it happens soon.
Who is Karlie? She is kind of all of ours, isn’t she?

Correction: 13,242. Way to go, Tink.

Disney has this amazing approach to a hybrid holiday-Christmas/Halloween mash up. See: Nightmare Before Christmas. See also, this “Christmas Gift” from Mickey that gets you thinking about next fall’s plans. That being said, a 10-mile race in the fall means that your bathing suit is not be your enemy. When my husband and I ran a relay last October, I found it much easier to runDisney than runIRL (in real life). Our friend encouraged me to try the Princess 1/2 marathon, but 13.1 seems about six miles too far. This race is actually reasonable. Hint: secure a babysitter, or bring one with you, if you’ll need one. The post-race events go way past the hours of the kids club operating hours. Even if you aren’t a runner, this video of the characters donning gay apparel is pretty cute.

1. Don’t surprise the kids and walk out the door to a parked car on Christmas morning.  Christmas is a special day and in our house, Advent is a season. We are working on seeing Advent as a journey, instead of a race to  the finish line that is Christmas (which we cross exhausted).  I want my kids to focus on giving gifts, being kind, and singing cute songs.  If I tell them Disney is coming up, I worry they will focus on Star Tours instead a star in Bethlehem. I’ll tell them after we open our gifts that one more gift is coming, and in 2 days, we’ll leave for Florida.  This will give them 48 hours to wrap their heads around it, and won’t result in vomiting on the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus. I hope.
2. We are planning a resort-heavy touring plan. We’ll stop by lobbies of places like the Grand Floridian to see gingerbread houses, Beach Club to see trains, and the Villas at Wilderness Lodge to see a HUGE tree.  No fast passes.  No bag checks.  No reservations needed.
3. We are checking the weather. While we usually try to schedule swimming time after a few hours of parks, or after dinner, a friend who went one January told me her girls swam every night, and she had pictures of lifeguards in ski coats watching them.  Our plans include a short amount of pool time at the hottest part of the day.
4. We have reservations that are linked to preferred seating. The Fantasmic Dinner Package, the Candlelight Processional meals-never a better idea than when the crowd levels are at 10/10. If you have a reservation like this, you can grab a fast pass before eating (if any are left) and then dine with your group. Afterwards, get a ride or two in, and then see  the show, or shows.  That might just be enough for wearing travelers. 
5. Epcot on New Years Eve is a great place to drink, and many take it as a personal challenge to have a cocktail at each country. New Years is also a day when people treat their liver like they rented it. Bad combo.  Magic Kingdom is dry, but being in that park when the clock strikes midnight (insert your own Cinderella reference here) is romantic. Expect a lot of proposals, tears, and announcements.  Choose wisely.  We are choosing Mickey’s Backyard BBQ, which is the closest to a rocking New Years Party we’ve attended since we entered car seat territory. To be honest, a few years before, as well.  I like a place with Sangria, ice cream, and a set end time.
6. We have one early morning reservation at an “inside the park restaurant”.  Another friend told me she took one son to the Magic Kingdom on a special Christmas trip but the park hit capacity before they got through the turnstile.  When you have an ADR, your name is on a clipboard, at a special turnstile.  Not sure how long we’ll stay in the park, but when we have done this on level 4 days, Daddy ran for fast passes while Mommy calculated the tip. (Marry a runner, if you can.)
7. Use the counter service meals liberally.  While sit down meals are a great break from waiting in line, several “keep your germs off me” themed blogs recommend avoiding a buffet line, no matter how clean the sneeze guard appears.  Wash those hands, and store  the left over brownies, bags of grapes, and bottles of water for later in the day.  When parks are busy, more stands are open, so keep an eye out for places you couldn’t try in October, especially around Epcot and the Studios.
8. Remember that this is A trip, not THE trip.  Our hit list for rides is shorter and we are remembering (I hope) the fact that a day Disney is better than a day anywhere else (to us) so even if we don’t do Space Mountain or catch the parade, we still will enjoy the room, the atmosphere, and each other’s company.

I used to think that keeping $20 in the fifth pocket of my jeans could get me out of most jams. At Disney, I have an unscientific number that I use instead. It is $36 a day. This amount can cover the following things that will make your bad day magical:

1. A cab from Coronado Springs Resort to California Grill, and back is about $16, in case you miss the bus lottery and get four Animal Kingdoms in a row instead of the one Magic Kingdom you need.
2. A stuffed animal or a toy that is good enough to make a kid feel like it is his or her birthday usually runs about $19.99-$23.00
3. Pizza and 4 sodas, if you miss the last boat to your advance dining reservation will run about $18.
4. A new tee shirt, baseball cap, or pair of sunglasses, because you forgot the put those in your carry on and the Magical Express has not yet delivered your wardrobe will run about $15-$25 each.
5. Sunscreen in January will cost about $13-14 in the parks. It is the same price in July, but you are less likely to have to look for it.
6. You can make your own light saber for under $25. Who you threaten with it is up to you.
7. A glass of wine and an order of nachos at the River Roost at Port Orleans Riverside is about $19, plus tip. This can make a lot things go better. I’ve proven this theory again and again.
8. An extra bag on the airplane (if you are using the carrier I used last time, which was about average) might cost $25. Keep those souvenirs, but leave the towels behind. Your soaps are fair game.
9. Good coffee is hard to come by, and is a “comfort food” to a lot of adults. According to AllEars.net, you can find coffee at select places around Walt Disney World. It may not be next to the place where the refillable mugs are sold. You can also find a few of those Starbucks Coffee Houses, which I hear good things about, near the Epcot resorts, if “hear good things” means, “had to give up for Lent.”
10. Downloadable dollars. A delay of a flight or a plethora of questions about park hours and transportation may motivate you upgrade your iPhone or Droid for the weekend. Sure, you have maps and charts and cast members, but nothing beats having your phone save you minutes (instead of charging you for them) as you get from Grand Floridian to Pop Century in either 47 minutes, or 13. Your choice. My 2 must have apps are TWIZ which is a Our Laughing Place Transportation Wizard app ($1.99), and Lines (free), by Touring Plans, which tells you how long you will have to wait for your mountain of choice, or whether or not Magic Kingdom will be closing for a party. There is no app to help you score an invitation.
11. A cab to the pharmacy far away. There is a great pharmacy near WDW, Turner Drug, but a prescription we needed that was very specific, time-released, and pricy was not in their inventory, so they were kind enough to track it down for us at a chain to save us, literally, hundreds of dollars over what they would have had to charge. THANK YOU!!!  However, we had to take a cab to get it. Price of cab? $30, plus tip.
12. If you are near the All Star resorts, or Animal Kingdom Lodge, you are not far from McDonald’s.  If you care that is it is there, you don’t need me to tell you what a few Happy Meals cost. There many, many, many great places to eat at Disney, but when you gotta, you gotta.  I’m not here to judge.

Hoping the big sister of this email finds her way to me.

I sat in a hallway halfway between 2 Tae Kwon Do studios today, waiting for ninja #1 and ninja #2 to finish their classes, as I obsessively checked my smartphone for an email. THE email which would (hopefully) invite me to Round 3 of the Walt Disney World Mom’s Panel.

The Mom’s Panel gives advice to folks who are curious about how to make their vacation more magical, (or how to avoid losing either your luggage or your patience while traveling) and the feedback comes from parents, aunts, and friends-just not official Disney employees. 20,000 apply for about 12 spots.  Perks seem to include a fabulous trip to Disney, a cool jacket (very “pink ladies”), more swag, and bragging rights.  It hit me  that the role is much like that of Miss America-for a year you represent, as an ambassador of good and nice things, people look at you, there are some happy tears, and even tiaras.  After a year, usually, you pass it on. Not much more wealthy, but more experienced with a few new friends.

Except, Moms panelists can eat chocolate. In fact, I think they want you too. There is no swimsuit competition.  In fact, I don’t think they want you to, otherwise the training would not be in December.  Also, I would not have made it this far.  I’ve been reviewing message boards, twitter feeds and blogs like someone just diagnosed with something strange, and nobody mentions bikinis. Shoes, yes. Did I mention the jacket? I want the jacket. A lot.

But I watched as both my ninjas arrived on time for class, bowed in, kicked the X-ray paper and dodged the boppers at the lessons that were as expensive as a whole of lot of Disney Vacation Club points, and I hoped they would get the recognition they coveted-a red piece of tape.  (Actual value of said reward, less than one cent.) This meant that they did an excellent job in class. (Priceless.) One had a class of 6, the other 30.  In the class of 6, no tapes were given out. At the class of 30, 3 were given out, and not to my (other) kid.  I also did not have an email that started with “Congratulations,” in my in-box.  None of our trio got “some feedback” that said, “We like you a lot, we just have a few things to consider before we reward you.” Just radio silence, with which we had to cope.

I went into coach mode and tried to console a 5-year old, while loading up with pointers about sitting more still next time, or making eye contact with the Masters.  ”I am not disappointed, though, Mom.  Maybe next time.”

Then I went to the other class to pick up Ninja Sr., and I realized he’d had a wardrobe malfunction of some kind and was no longer wearing a belt. After class, the Master gave it to him and when I asked what happened, assuming  there was some embarrassing back story, I was told, “It fell off. It happens.”

As we dodged the raindrops to the car, and I tried to mask my disappointment about not yet knowing if I were on Mickey’s short list, I looked at these kids who give 30 minutes, twice a week, of their best.  Sometimes, their best is awesome.  Sometimes, their best wiggles, chews on a sleeve, and ends up missing pieces of apparel.  Whether or not they are recognized for their excellence, or their “good enough”ed-ness (yes, I made up a word) doesn’t make or break them. It just is.  Hope I remember to act like a knee-high ninja when the next email comes, and the moments between now and then.  I can wait with the best of them, and in fact, I will.