Among the bagpiping circles in which I ran when I was growing up, parades were such a part of life that we had code names for them, based on one of three major identifiers:

  • Where it was (Bergen, Teaneck, Mahopac, West Milford, Pearl River)
  • Who the parade was honoring (Firefighters, Bricklayers, ethnic group that normally did not care for pipes but had an Irish guy writing checks for the town)
  • (Less often) An actual holiday (Fourth, St. Pat’s, et cetera) 
On holidays, or for the month of a holiday, it was not uncommon to have two or three parades in a row. It was also not uncommon for one or more of the founding members to need to take a break during the parade, and get picked up in the first aid tent at the end.  Wool + July + a series of steep hills = disaster!  I’d look at the kids waving flags from the curb, who were clearly wishing we were throwing candy instead of passing on culture, and think, “If you would cry and leave, I could be at the mall by now. Save me!  Be bratty!”
I was about 19 before I sat my father down and told him I’d reached my limit at year six, and would like to hang up pipes, thus ending our father/daughter bonding time we shared as he played a perfect snare to my pipes.
I think his response was, “Finally. Oh, thank God.”  He was tired too, and had his eye on that first aid tent more than once, wondering if you could get a Bud with those ice packs. 
When I check the parade schedules for Walt Disney World trips, I honestly do it to think about it as when the queues for rides will be shorter.  I could not imagine having to pull my family off of ride to get a place on the street and sit (the S word in my house) for about 40 minutes to an hour, being bumped and cajoled, before we watch people moving before us, and continue to stand for the duration.
At a visit to Hollywood Studios last year, we were the only ones at a buffet as the crowd started to gather for a parade. “Good timing, Shannon. You may miss it altogether,”  I secretly congratulated myself.
We tried to head to the left to avoid the crowd forming as the Block Party started, but the Crowd, she pulled us in.
How? Perky, interactive dancers.  
While heading towards the least congested environment I could find, some 20-nothing guys were working in their dance moves.  They did the “squish a bug”, the “lawn mover,” and the something resembling a move called the crisscross.  The nicest part was that they were willing to teach a little kid who was trying to avoid the noise of the parade.  My son turned his back on the Monsters Inc. cast passing by and worked on his hip hop.  I looked on, and before you know it, toys were being thrown into the crowd. 
They were multi-colored squish balls that read, “Block Party”.
It was almost as if they knew that parades could be a stressful way to spend an afternoon, and certainly, they knew how to solve it. I have wondered if those angels/hip hop instructors were CMs in disguise, like undercover fun-makers.  Then, I stopped caring and just appreciated how much joy they brought.

If you have wiggly kid, or if you are one yourself, a few coping strategies for a parade are:
  1. Think of the time before the parade as people watching time.  Cast members often do street performances as you wait, so it isn’t really “down time” it is “let’s sit and see what this guy is going to do” time.
  2. Have a scavenger hunt. Who can spot some Mickey Crocs?  Someone with Donald their shirt?  A hat that features a dog (Goofy counts)?  
  3. Use the time to review images in your camera. It sounds funny to look back fondly on this morning, but that encounter with the Mad Hatter could have happened so fast, it is nice to revisit.  Remember when you had to wait a week to get pictures back, or at least 24-hours?  
  4. Use the time to delete images in your camera in which you don’t look good.  If you wouldn’t print it, or if you’d untag yourself if someone posted it, don’t keep it.
  5. Compare pins.  Pins are the ultimate fidget tool.  They are heavy, but not too heavy. They are easy to clean. If they become boring, you can trade them.  Separate the pins you want to keep from the ones you’ll trade tomorrow.  Parade waiting time is a great time to notice who else has a pin on. The people sweeping the streets? The Photo pass photographers?
  6. Find a comfortable spot far from the crowd ahead of time by doing research. There is a special viewing spot at Magic Kingdom for AAA members.  Can you go to the start of the parade instead of the end? If you’d like to see the Electrical Water Pageant instead of a traditional parade, kids can play on the sandy beaches at Fort Wilderness while they wait, instead of sitting on a curb at mid-day.  
  7. Hydrate!  Waiting for a parade to start is the best time to indulge in a large lemonade or, if you have no wool to spill it on, a very large ice cream cone.
  8. View the parade online beforehand. While this may spoil the surprise, some children are more patient if they know what they are waiting to see.  Many of us are so excited that The Main Street Electrical Parade is returning to Walt Disney World, and not just because they can see Eliot the Dragon.  Some of us are excited because they can see Eliot the Dragon. OK, I am excited to see Eliot the Dragon.  I’ve seen him before, and will be even happier to reunite.
  9. Listen to your body, or your kid’s body.  If they have the verbal skills and social skills to say, “I can’t take waiting anymore,” instead of being upset, congratulate them on putting that into socially appropriate words, instead of unintentionally sabotaging everyone’s afternoon. 
  10. There will be another parade tomorrow, if not later today. At Ohana’s character meal, there will another parade in about 15 minutes.  If you can’t land a great seat, undercover CMs, or the right sunshine to humidity ratio, try again later.  Just take the time and date stamp off of those digital pictures. 

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